Sure, you want to date a younger woman – but how young is OK?

men-dating-younger-women

Imagine this scenario:

You meet an attractive woman. You hit it off. She meets all your criteria for a woman you’d like to date.

But she’s 15 years younger than you. Too big an age difference? What about 20 years – or even 25 years?

Every man I’ve ever known has wanted to date younger women. Why? Men are visual creatures, and younger women tend to more attractive. (If I offended any older women, tough.)

Still, there’s a limit to how low a man can go. If the age difference is too great, the man looks like a creepy old guy – if not a pervert. I’m disgusted by those all-too-frequent stories of male teachers who take advantage of much younger female students.

I have a general rule of thumb about older guys dating younger women. The older he is, the greater the age difference can be.

For instance, a 45-year-old guy could get away with dating a 25-year-old woman. Granted, some people (maybe the woman’s parents) might raise an objection. But most people wouldn’t declare the 45-year-old way out of line.

However, what about a 45-year-old guy dating a 20-year-old woman? The age difference is too great, I say. Why? The 20-year-old, likely, is still in school and planning her career.

It’s wrong for a well-established man to nab a young woman before she can discover herself and find her way in life. The man’s desire for eye candy shouldn’t trump the woman’s right to develop into an adult.

I’m 53 years old, and I’ve dated younger women. Generally, the age difference seems to be less than 10 years. Once, I dated a woman who was 15 years younger, but that’s as low as I’ve gone.

I can say this: An older woman isn’t necessarily more mature than a younger woman. So it’s a mistake to immediately condemn a man for seeing a woman 20 years his junior. She could be more sophisticated and a better match for the guy than someone his age.

A large age difference can spell trouble

I have another observation about older men dating younger women. If the age difference becomes an ongoing topic of discussion with the couple, the gap is too large. Early in the relationship, it’s fine to joke about their different life experiences based on age.

But if either partner starts using age as a jab – the man implying the woman is a child or the woman implying he’s an old fart – the relationship is doomed. A successful relationship is based on respect and a perception of equality.

Some men leave their wives for younger women. That’s wrong. Marriage is a serious commitment. You shouldn’t call it off just because your wife is getting older (you are too).

Adultery, abuse or neglect of the kids, financial irresponsibility – those are valid reasons for a guy to divorce his wife. But not because she develops wrinkles or adds a few pounds.

Guys, don’t look to go younger if you’re married. But if you’re divorced, it’s OK to go as low as you want – within reason.

For instance, I pity a 70-year-old guy who manages to marry a 25-year-old. It’s rare, but it happens. In most cases, of course, the guy is rich and the woman is a gold digger.

If I were a rich 70-year-old, I wouldn’t jeopardize my fortune for great sex with a young woman or admiring glances from other men. First, the sex probably wouldn’t last. Second, envy wouldn’t make up for the conflicts that could arise because of the age difference.

As a single guy, I’m always looking for a potential mate. Youth is important to me, but it ranks well below other characteristics, such as emotional health and intelligence.

I could never choose a smoking hot 25-year-old bimbo for a long-term relationship. But I could easily choose a smoking hot 25-year-old who was smart, kind and self-confident.

Know any?

THE TAKEAWAY

Men will always be attracted to younger women. It’s in our genes. But we shouldn’t let youth and beauty blind us to a woman’s faults. An attractive woman could turn out to be a high-maintenance nightmare.

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About Ed Housewright

Ed Housewright is the chief cook and bottle washer at Single Dad House. After three decades as a newspaper reporter, he’s trying to adapt to the social media world. He’s matrimonially challenged with two divorces under his belt and is trying to do a better job at raising his 12-year-old son, Connor. Follow Ed on Twitter: @singledadhouse.

Comments

  1. Thanks for info. I have met a 26 yr old woman from Laos. I am 56. I am in good shape physically/ mentally. We are engaged to be married and i have returned home to my country to get things in order. We love each other and she/ her parents have no problem with the age difference. I, on the other hand am kind of freaked out about it. My only concern is with my friends and family back home in Canada.
    I also do not get the intellectual type conversations that I would like with her. I can satisfy this need with other foreigners however, it still makes me feel not completely connected. She wants a child with me and I have already fathered 3 before. I would be willing to have one more child I think though. What a big step for us…

    • You answered your own question. You do not get the kind of intellectual conversations you want! I don't think age differences need to be a deal breaker, but difficulty CONVERSING?! You also said you do not feel completely connected while saying you are in love. Trouble, sir.

      You are contradicting yourself and dare I suggest you want to be in love so badly that you are "filling in the gaps" subconsciously.

      Sorry, I don't see the ultimate logic here.

      • Not all young ladies are gold digger i’m only 25 and my husband is now 71 and we been living together now for 5 years and were very close to each other good as gold happy as can be, he is from australia and I’m a filipina, he has not have that money and since I start work 5 days after I have granted permition to work the goverment stop 250 dolar of his pension. We take care each othet and every day is a wonderful day for us for better or worse for riches or pooress love is real..

    • wake up sweetie. you have been dreaming….

    • I am 40 and married an 18 year old virgin from Vietnam. I do not care one IOTA what my relatives say. It was funny the first time at Thanksgiving. SHould I have to marry someone older just because of social mores? Why the hell should I? The only rule is the one I make. There are no 'rules'. Men can do whatever they damn well please.

    • you are sick . normal men dont need to go to Laos to find a woman

  2. Oh…before I met this woman I had been single for 14 years and very lonely.

  3. angeld247 says:

    Ok, this happened to me. Yup, I know a smoking hot 25-year-old who is smart, kind and self-confident, and I'm 15 years older than she is. We met in VT this summer where we were both taking graduate courses. She completed her MA; I'm half way done. Thanks to good genes, I look much younger. She thought that I was 30-ish. She began counting up from 30 as she tried to guess my age. I stopped her at 39, because I feared 40 sounded too old, & I was having fun chatting with her. I never imagined that anything would come of it: in my mind I was too old for her. But we kept seeing each other. She became enamored with me, and I became smitten with her. Eventually, our respective summer programs came to an end. I came back home, & she went to hers. We continued talking & started contemplating a future together. I decided I had to tell her the truth about my age before we went any further. Honesty is paramount, & I had violated her trust. Well, she was upset, not so much because of my age / our age difference, but because I had been dishonest. She felt let down & disappointed in me. I feel horrible. She's still coming to visit me in a few days, but I myself question the wisdom of dating a woman 15 years younger: when she's 35, I'll be 50. When she's 40, I'll be 55. When she's 45, I'll be 60. I wonder whether I'll still be good enough for her. Should I just bow out gracefully now and save her the trouble of saying, "It's not you; it's me." later?

    • I understand your dilemma. I've dated much younger women before too. I say quit worrying — and go for it.Don't speculate about what might happen down the road. Hell, you might get killed in a car crash tomorrow. If you and the woman enjoy each other, spend time together. Let the future take care of itself.

    • Exactly i am 30yr and my neighbour girl is 16teen,and she is loving me and proposed to marry..shall i accept it r not?

    • when she is 45 she will find a nice 35 year old ….

    • I just had to reply as your situation is very near to my own, but from the woman's side. I met a older man who I believed was 15yrs older than myself. He came clean months later and told me he was 19 yrs older. I did have trouble with 15yrs, but 19yrs? I was very upset that he hadn't been honest with me in the beginning. But after weeks of thought, I decided that it was too late and I was already hooked. I adore this man and don't want to live without him. He will be 60yrs at the end of the year and I will be 42yrs. It dose concern me that we will only have approx 20yrs together and that I will end up breaken hearted, but I would rather have 20 happy years. Also as a last comment we laugh, talk about everything together. I.just wish I had met him years ago so we would have longer together.

    • angeld, my granddaughter who was at the time she meet her now husband, 25, and look 15. They met while she was in real estate showing homes and he was the banker. His wife left him because he had problems with erections. That didn't matter to my granddaughter, she loved the way he was. He was 40 at the time. They first live together and later got married. They been together now 13 years, his kids love her and he trust her and they have a great relationship. He does take pills that work for both of them and have a great relationship. She loves him so much and other guys have tried to ask her out but she tell then she is happily married. So guy you have no problems just go with the flow and be honest and loving.. so see it works …the same happen with my sister and me..I love older man…so go for it and forget how old you are…

  4. I am in a similar situation, however I am that younger women. Seeing a man 30 years my senior. Our relationship developed when we were unaware of one anthers age. I'm only 19, I understand this is a very young age, however I believe age is person specific. I am beyond my years and have struggled in relationships with men my age, I find myself constantly seeking to be taught something I don't know, and yes security. A younger man can not provide this(well not the younger men I have met). However I am struggling tremendously to give up my inhibitions. I am overly conscious of the public around, and what they must be thinking. I couldn't bare to be mistaken for his daughter; I worry about this a lot. I care for this man an awful lot, but these worries are making things very difficult on my part as I can't bare to be seen in public! What am I to do?

    • Hey girl, I completely understand what your talking about. I have been talking to a man who is 37 years older then me, it hasn’t went anywhere yet, but I do find myself very much attracted to him. The age thing plays no part for me, but I think what helps is that the women in my life ( my girlfriends, mom, and sister) completely accepts the idea. I do know if it was to go anywhere there would be some major opsticals in our way, well for one, he is a well respected black belt in our karate school, and is close close friends with my instructor, matter fact he was one of his first students, and my instructed loves me like a daughter, so that is one opsticals for us, the other as you pointed out is the way people would view out relationship, they would look at me and think I was being taken advatage of, and him a creepy old man. Well none of this takes stock in my opinion, because I know how and what we are so I would say to you. Don’t lesson to what the world has to say, do what you feel is right for you. And as long as your family accepts it, that’s the only opinion that matters.

    • Who cares what people think, if you care for him thats your dude, you should feel proud. I dated older guys befor I have always been into older men more than younger. Im dating a 45 year old and Im 20. It helps that he looks nowere near his age but, Im proud to hold his hand and seen in public with him.

    • I dont usually reply to these but find this one interesting so hope I can help!
      Ive been seeing a guy 40 years my senior for a year now. I have known him for four years now but up until recently have been living in a very small town (with many of my relatives/people who look at me as a daughter) so it always made more sense to keep the whole thing very covert.
      We were both very surprised when it evolved into what it has, from good friends to a casual affair to a relationship. The age difference has never concerned me too much, if we are happy then it doesnt bother me, although I know it bothers him at times (due to what people would think)
      However, he recently moved interstate, and I visited. As we were no longer in such a narrow minded community, we went out dancing. I had not expected the public to be altogether accepting of the relationship, but I hadnt suspected what would happen. I was mistaken for his daughter (something that I suspected would happen and laughed off) but over the course of the night and a few very inconsiderate comments from strangers, the whole night really took its toll on both of us. We are still together but the incident shocked me a bit, even though I thought we could deal with it.
      I guess what im saying is, if you like him, go for it. It might not last (I know my relationship isnt a 'forever' thing) but if you care about eachother you are in a good place to live love and learn a lot :). I suppose its just important to be aware that it wont be smooth sailing, especially in public.
      good luck!
      Erin :)xx

      Ps. Although I think this is an absolutely ridiculous assumption people make, I am not at all interested in his money. I pay my own way, probably more than I did when I was with my previous boyfriend who was a similar age to me!

    • I am seriously so happy that I read this. I am 19 and I have been seeing someone that is 21 years older than me for 8 months now but I care about him so much and as does he. My friends all think that it is weird but they stand behind me but I haven't told my family yet. So, to answer your question I say follow your heart and do what you want to do. Because I think that's what I am going to do :) THANKS!

  5. Hey very healthy ideas. It may help to consider a formular for marriage.

    Half mans age add seven= the girls age.

    Eg 50

    – = 25+7= 32

    2

    32 should be the girls age. Not cast on stone but the nearer the better.

    Caradosa.

    • Take your rules and formulas and stick them up your arse. There are no rules. A man and woman can marry at any age they want. If society doesn't like it, well too damn bad for you ain't it.

      • Age difference causes other people to worry!
        Personally, I worry a bit but damn them, I’m happy!!
        They’ll be little digs at each other, same with any couple of any age, it’s how you make up a get back to where you were!
        I’m 49, she is 26, yes, they’ll be awkward moments but not yet!
        We’ll deal with that when it happens!!
        Once divorced, after 20 years of a good marriage, you move on!!
        If it makes you happy, and there’s a chance it’ll go for 20 years, your right!!
        DAMN THEM ALL!!

    • This is not working at all – I married someone 15 years older , had 2 kids, and 15 years later left him. He is now 65 and I am still young and energetic 49 year old. My life is a lot more exciting while he is not really interested to do much. So, definitely no – marry men your own age or younger!!

  6. Age Judge not says:

    Go find them selves? While you the writer may deem a large age difference unacceptable for your personal rules or taste, no where does the Holy Bible does it specify an acceptable age as does this imaginary line you have created nor does it say (time to go find them self). God didn't creat collages or the party life, man did that. Writer seems to be oopsed to God's creation as he created it going against what obviously comes natural between male and female. As long as two are at a legal age of majority that was set by man intended accordingly as so the person reaching the age of majority should be able to clearly as intended with adult to adult decision making as permitted by law and no one should judge their decisions. Society has made exceptions to accommodate nearly every walk of life from the very tall to the very short, the handicapped to handicapped them which has included what is not natural as in (homosexuality), but not to accommodate what (IS) natural which is choice that includes a large age difference labeling them as perverts and that is the perfect definition of (hypocrisy). So writer and society in general do be careful not to judge or you could one day end up (finding your own self), finding yourself that is in a bad situation in a unexpected bad way (judgement day), not in your favor.

    7:1 Judge not – any man without full, clear, certain knowledge, without absolute necessity, without tender love. Luke 6:37.

    • Age Judge Not says:

      Age Judge Not. To you, the writer, I should have read the whole article, my apologies to you. It's that I'm so used to attacks I didn't realize you were only pointing out the hypocrite stereo types in society. However I do disagree. I disagree with not pursuing what you really want, what your heart really desires as long as it's legal. We are not assured or entitled to anything in life. I am a 48 year old, lived my life right, I didn't party, never married and I have not one single child. I did everything as best as I could within the rules of life and law, I respected others, their will, their space and wishes. I never grew with or adjusted to those my own age. I didn't date with an exception of under two years, all through my teen years and haven't touched a girl since I was at least 21 years old. Now mentally I'm still where I was when I left off. That means mentally I'm still attracted to girls as young as 18. I can't in no way attract to anymore remotely my own age, not even near my age, I know I've tried, I can't. I was very close to my mom and she was the only female in my life I had to confide in, she was not just my mom, she was my best friend. I recently lost her to cancer and now I have no female at all to confide it. As I said I can't related or attract to anyone my age. What is life to me if I have to live with knowing that not that is there noone that would accept me in the age I'm attracted to, but knowing I don't even have the right to a chance or choice. I'm not a womanizer, I'm not a old man out to take advantage of a young girl, I'm not trying to use anyone, I'm not out to lie to anyone or looking for a trophy for my shelf, I'm not a old man looking for a sex toy, I'm a guy who wants to be loved and the chance that every guy he's ever known had with a girl in the prime of her beauty and her life only he missed out on. That's it, that's all.

  7. Genie Johnson says:

    Hmmm – I remember in my twenties only the outcast, crazy, desperate or girls from a bad upbringing dated older men. I grew up upper middle class, college educated. Me and my girlfriends made fun of them. We would never have dated someone more than ten years older and the guys we knew and married would have been appalled if we did (as well as our parents). That was considered low life. It seems like older men think they are getting a trophy with a younger woman, but it just be a social outcast or desperate chick.

    • Benzo Ash says:

      You seem like you're one of those snobby, shallow, low self-esteem, unhappy girls that wishes she could have rebelled but didn't have the power to. Don't put somebody down just because you're unhappy.

  8. Wow it’s amazing reading these articles. I met a girl on FB and we chatted for about 5months. I’m 29 and she’s turning 20, I look about 26 in appearance so I’m lucky i guess. Anyway from texting once a twice to got to long phone call every night. We eventually decided to meet. She was ok with it and said she needed to discuss it with her mom, which i thought was a good idea. She chatted to her mom and she said her mom was happy for her until she mention my age and her mom flipped. We are not allowed to have any contact now. I often asked myself if what I feel for her is real, taking into consideration I just one girlfriend for 4 years in my life . After my breakup I was comfortable living single as I used the time find myself. There’s a big part of me that’s saying nothing comes easy and if your heart is in go for it and there’s also a part that’s saying step away you have been hurt before so what’s there being hurt again and maybe she will be happier later on. ….

    • Maybe you could try getting in touch with her again when she's 21? She'll feel more independent and both she and her mom might respect that you waited. Of course, you need to live your life in the meantime and maybe you'll meet somebody else. Or maybe she will, but you could still end up with a friend.

    • She is 20 years old. Although I can appreciate the fact that she respects her mother enough to ask her opinion, she is an adult and should be able to make her own decisions. Maybe she isn't mature enough to handle the relationship.

  9. I can understand older men wanting to dating younger women, but in reality, don't younger women have the upper hand? They are the ones deciding if they want to be with you, not vice verse? I'm a 32 year old woman and recently a 55 year old man said to me that I'm the youngest he will go. WTF? he's balding and paunchy… and as IF, he would have a chance. Why would I pick him, when I can find someone 40 or 35 or even 30? Judging by your pic, Ed, I would think that you could get a woman in her early 40's, but most likely mid- late 40's if you are looking at younger. In any case, I just got engaged to a 29 year old guy… and his family is not liking the fact that I'm older…. by 3 years. But a man can marry 20 years younger and no one bats an eye? Come on… Dream on buddy.

  10. Andrea E Fobbs says:

    I have been with my man a long time (24 years ) and then he retired , moved to florida and just started cheating on me with a 38 year old , it has been a couple months , I just found out and he still wants me to forgive him and be apart of his life. he is 60 years old going on 61 , she is 38 and I m 46 . I am really hurt , I never saw it , he says he still loves me and we still have the best sex ever , so he is lying to her about a few things and because this is still fresh i am hurting . Confused , disappointed and angry

  11. Ok, I have a question:

    So my uncle was married to my Aunt for about 30 years, but they never had any children. She was about ten years younger then him, but long story short, she died about ten years ago of cancer when he was in his 60s. He is now 72 years old. So, he been traveling to Thailand and probably having good time with these thai chicks that remind him of my Aunt.

    For the past two years, he was able to go to the same university that I am attending under the senior program, where he pays a discounted price for two class a semester. He also invites himself over for the weekends and takes me out to lunch. On several occasion, he would hit on my 20 something college friends.

    He would mistaken any politeness as a sign of flirtation, and a willingness to be friends as a relationship.

    The problem is that he had neither youth, wealth, nor the personality to attract them but he flatters himself that they are attracted to him and that he is entitled to 20 something college girls. When I suggest that he dates 50+ women, he dismiss me and told me that he find them unattractive even if he did find an connection with them.

    My uncle never made a fortune, and thus lives on social security. He was raised in the south and has a controlling personality, where he expects young women to be submissive and obedient to his commands.

    How do I let my Uncle know that he must stop flattering himself that he is entitled to 20 something girls when he has neither youth, wealth, nor the personality? My friends thinks that he is creepy and stop hanging out with me.

    At the same time, I believe that he is under the illusion that because young twenty something girls was sweet to him in Thailand, that these young college girls would be sweet to him too and he wants to find love.

  12. Personally I think it is very creepy for an older man to take advantage of a "woman" who is much younger than he is and also vice versa. A person in their 40s is NOT in the same place as someone in their 20s and whilst someone in that age group can be easily won over by an older more mature person it does not make it right. It is selfish and creepy to date someone who could potentially be the same age as your offspring and I would go one step further and say abnormal for somone to be even attracted to someone so much younger than you particularly if we are talking about 20 + years. You could not possibly have enough in common and a person in their 20s has not had the necessary life experience to know what makes a good relationship or even what they really want out of a relationship. If you are an older person you should do the right thing and the kind thing and let the person life their life and gain their own life experiences and do yourself a favour and find someone more age appropriate for yourself to have a real relationship with. Age is NOT just a number it comes with a whole myriad of things attached to it both good and bad and cannot be ignored. If age were just a number then it would be ok to be dating a 10 year old then, it is NOT just a number a person's age indicates their life experiences, their level of maturity and ultimately someone in their 70s does not expect even to live as long as somone in their 20s or should not be thinking of having children. Yes anyone at any age can get hit by a bus tomorrow but those are the exceptions. It is selfish of someone over 50 to even consider marrying someone much younger than themselves and even pototenally having children. I think some people need to get a reality check and come back to planet earth with the rest of us!

    • thank you! finally someone with some common sense. these old men make me sick! date someone who is mature enough to understand what they're getting involved with. A chick under 30 is not mature enough.

      • So you're saying that women under thirty are not mature enough to be relationship material to anyone? That's a bit sexist frankly, and I'm sure there's plenty of people under And over thirty that would agree.
        Simple age does not make maturity, it takes the right kind of mind to be a mature person. There are plenty of people in their fifties that are just plain stupid when it comes to relationships and even life in general, but due to their age, I suppose they're more mature than the hard working twenty-somethings woman with a degree that she spent years of her life achieving. And I also suppose my friends that achieved their doctorates don't know what they want in life yet because they haven't yet turned thirty.

        Maturity is frankly just that, and it's something that can never be self-measured. Maturity is an outward expression of self, and when you realize that sometimes some people never 'mature', yet that doesn't make them 'immature', you will be a better, more 'mature' person yourself.

        People are people, so before you retort that you 'only meant when dating older guys', try to think of the connotations of age in relationship to well, relationships. Two truly mature people could be absolutely right for each other regardless of a ten year, or a thirty year age gap. Conversely, two people could also be completely wrong for each other even with the exact same birth-dates.

        Relationships work, and relationships fail, age is not the contributing factor, nor is the location where they met. And that all comes right back down to the fact that indeed, people are people.

  13. I completely ruled out the possibility of being attracted to, and compatible with, someone even 20 years my junior (I am 50). Everyone I've dated has been within 12 years of my age. I'm an emotionally healthy guy and am not having a midlife crisis.

    But, last month, BOOM, I met a 22-year-old who is a brilliant poet & studying to be a therapist. She is also brilliantly funny (I write humor books) and we endlessly make each other laugh. It is only a friendship but it's time for "decisions" as I can see she desires more (so do I !). My concern is that I may be acting selfishly in some way and of course I am sensitive to society's "guidelines."

    Part of me says WTF, just be honest and let's see what happens, but another part thinks it's best to leave her be. I want to think about this long and hard. Polite feedback, please.

    • Paul- I'm a 26 year old girl with 47 year old man. Even though 21 year age gap we have an awesome time together. We laugh all the time and enjoy eachothers company. I didnt care about the age difference until 8 months in. Yes, he may be gone in 30 years but it may be the best 30 years of our lives. So go off with some guy my age and experience the golden years, or lay down my head on the chest of the man I love and not regret a single breath. We have passion and I strongly believe a life without passion isn't worth living.

    • I say go for it, The heart knows what the heart needs. If the connection is there between you both then dont waste time trying to find another.

    • please don't do it. a few weeks ago i know a 38 yr old chick with a 50 dude. they're married and they have a 9yr old daughter together. Recently the older man was hospitalized for seizures. ??? he seemed healthy otherwise… the 38yr old was worried to death, and she's a stay at home mom for now. husband is worried and says she might need to get a job if something happens to him. they just got life insurance and she feels better. thats wack. that 9yr old might never grow up with a father. how selfish….

      i think you should stick with 10 yr difference. if you're fifty and marry someone in their 40s, having kids wont be an issue. there are so many creeps out there, don't give people the wrong impression. dating someone who could be your daughter is disgusting. it means you might be subject for pedophilia. im 25 and the men i grew up with, laughed with, took advice from,and trusted as fathers, uncles and etc, even married ones are now targeting me because they are lusting me. its so confusing and scary. dont make others think its ok to target younger women. i dont know how to tell them to back off without ruining our good relationship. and they think im smiling because i like it, but i want to vomit. i still feel like a little girl. the reason they keep doing it, must be because they see other young women with older men. so they think if they're persuasive enough ill change my mind eventually. set the right example for guys your age.

      plllease, think of others
      sanna

      • You just contradicted yourself Sanna, you say that it's 'wack' that their daughter could potentially grow up without a father because he was forty-one when she was born, however you promote that a forty-somethings could marry a fifty-somethings and have kids just fine. So it would be better for a child to potentially grow up without "Either" parent?
        Things happen in life, people get sick, have accidents, and have sudden health problems when they were otherwise healthy, regardless of age. I just had a friend pass away of Lukemia at the age of around twenty-eight, leaving behind two boys. I myself had a sudden, unexplained stroke at the age of thirty-one. I was at least fortunate enough to recover nearly fully from my ailment, but that doesn't mean I wasn't scared for my young children at the time.
        And I have to say, when I had my stroke, I wasn't thinking "Will I get better so I can do all the things that I always wanted to do", I was thinking "Will I get better so I can give my kids the life they need."
        When you're a parent, at least a good one, you Always think of your children first.
        When I was younger, my father remarried to a woman closer in age to me than to himself, and they've been married over twenty years now. The age difference for them was around fourteen years, which while nowhere near some of the gaps discussed here, is still fairly vast considering he already had a child, and she was sub-twenty when they met. They've had a lot of good times to go along with the rough spots, but all relationships have their share of each, and that's what makes them relationships.

      • Sanna doesn't seem to understand that life can and is, very unpredictable. Just because a healthy male or female suddenly becomes ill, just not mean it will happen in your relationship. Calling someone "selfish" for wanting a life of honest and real happiness is absurd.

        If we allowed fears and "what ifs" rule all of our decisions, then I can see why there are so many unhappy people in the world.

    • Dave 48yrs says:

      Sorry Paul but who is the younger person here, her or you. Your not a kid and don't need permission to have a relationship with anyone. It sounds more like you are looking for an excuse to not have a relationship. So what is really scaring you?

    • Well I'm 53, and my next wife is going to be much younger. How young? Don't know, but I'm not ruling out a 20 year old. I think 18 is too young, but these women are not like western women. It's east meets west. What I detected from you post is more of an internal struggle YOU'RE facing. Are you going to be her Daddy? Or her Man…Husband..protector..lover..giving her true respect. But then, isn't respect something earned? Maybe she hasn't been on this planet long enough to earn your respect. Not enough "Life experiences". THAT would make you her daddy. Don't just say WTF and move forward with her. Treat her with the respect she does reserve, and make a mutual decision based on that. Done

  14. The article make sense. I am 25 asian girl and have been asked to going out with 55yrs old man for a year and half ago. He is witty and adventurous, once married, cheated and has two adult children. I have been supporting myself since 19 and had couple of relationship experiences. There were three things he liked me about: 1. appearance 2. simple mind 3. Practicality.Everything was fine but I have to admit the fear of commitment from man’s side.

    The stroy goes back to 6 months ago after my boyfriend went to Thailand. I have noticed him checking out dating websites, clarify himself as a single man looking for women aged from 35 to above. When I found this I gently asked him if he feels lonely and if this usual and common things for mature men to do while they are in a relationship, and if not what would be the reason for these actions. He said that he wants to be with someone who can make him feel more comfortable. Although he kept himself from aging and have been avoiding his age group, the very inner part of his mind wanted Someone who he can get aged together.

    He also commented about his fear of being left alone in the future as there are more chances for young people to change their mind. When he started to bring up the reality about the age gaps i felt quite helpless. No matter how much love and compromise I give him, once the mind is set on the reality there are no dreams or hopes.

    Although it could be his excuse, and that he does not love me anymore, I thanked him telling me his thoughts.

    After this i asked him if i can leave him, in doing so he can meet somebody else, He told me to stay and work for him as there are still a little affection towards me. He has not changed and we are still the same as before but I guess I am learning a big lesson here.

  15. I am very interested about what people think about this one. I read the article, and I wanted to get an opinion on this. I met a really charming, sweet older man, that I have a lot of respect for, I recently reached out to him as friends, well one thing led to another and we started flirting with each other and had an instant connection. This is the hold up though, not that I mind at all but the age diffrance between us is 37 years ( I’m 27 his 65). I never went for much old men but he struck a cord with me, I’m very interested in him, and like I said the age doesn’t bother me. So I guess my question is, am I missing something here, or is this ok? P.S I know for a fact this isn’t a normal thing for him either, it just kind of happen…

    • I have some questions:

      Jackie, why are you single at 27?

      How established is this old man?

      If this man is rich, would you still love him if he lose all his wealth, prestige or health and you now have to be his caretaker, a mom to your children, and poor?

      Do you want to be a caretaker?

      Pay close attention to his health, both mental and physical. Does he seems senile at time? Throws tantrum, called you by other names, forgotten things? Does he needs vigara to get it up? Does he get tired a lot?

      Of course you are free to love whoever you desires, but you must also think about yourself and your future children. Image bringing your children into a world where the fear of death is around the corner and you waste your youth to care for grandpa.

      Are you willing to waste your youth to be an old man's caretaker.

      If you find a man (5 years older), who has all the prestige and wealth that this old man does, who would you pick?

    • Hi Jackie,
      I just got involved with a guy who's about 70, I'm 45. I have the same questions as you do. Mainly, I am dreading my familys reaction, they would just freak. People will probably talk behind your back about
      you having daddy issues. I have dated older men before but nothing like this and there is a big generation gap but I guess I don't care that much. He treats me better than I have ever been treated by a guy

    • dumbblonde says:

      no its not ok been there and done that, at his age he would be in a manipulating position and you would be too inexperienced to see that, and as they get a little bit older before 70yrs the teotesterone drops their voices go high and they get grumpy old man syndrome its horrible – dont go there for a long term relationship i wouldnt even go there short term every again

  16. I am 48 but look a lot younger. I easily pass for 32-35 no problem. When I tell the truth about my age I get rejected a lot if I hit on a woman under 38. Most women at 38 or older have kids, issues of all types etc. Younger women in the 18-28 age range I like usually don’t have all that baggage. But if I tell a woman 18-28 my real age most will get creeped out due to societies phony, hypocritical morality and brainwashing. So I lie about my age all the time and have way more success with hooking up with younger women 18-28. I am honest in every other way as far as letting them know I just want to party, have fun, have sex/hook up and do not want a relationship other than a open one. The author on here is a damn moralist who wants to tell people how to live their life according to their age. Young college girls like to have sex sometimes with multiple partners and even women too most are not naive virgins but sexually liberated women who indulge in drinking and wild sex. But if I say I am 48 they don’t want me around however when I say 32 or 33. Or even 35 they don’t mind plus I look that age. I have been a bachelor all my life and have no kids and I love it. Older women hate this because most of them at 45 to 50 who had 3 or 4 kids are not attractive and look every day of their age and want to make me feel guilty for having sex with a 18-22 year old college student and rejecting them. So they want me to tell the truth so I will be stuck in a relationship with a old bitter divorced woman with 4 kids. No thanks I will lie like a rug. When I am 60 or 70 I will still push my age down 15 years and hook with women 20-30 years younger if not more. I will make them think I hit the lottery for 30 million lol I got a dozen ways to get them to drop their panties without being a sucker or a sugar daddy lol. Mainstream societies “dating rules” are so lame and only punish a older man for being honest.

    • Dude,

      you go for it. Bang as many college girls as you can, even when you are 70 years old. So long as you have no children and no one gets hurt, go for it.

      • Even when you are 70 years old, you can marry a virgin and make a baby with her. Have sex with as many college chicks as you can, and marry a virgin. why? because you can, that is why!!! because you can!!!!

    • lilibeth padua says:

      im 20 and my present husband is 41 when i met him i waited for the annulment to grant now we been together for 21 years now im now 42 and 62 so what is wrong with the woman just keep looking

    • Charles says:

      You are soo rite in Chinese culture it is perfectly o.k. To be with wdoman half your are as their theory is that the young woman will keep the old man young.

    • Mike- You make me laugh- just say it the way it is! :) I don't agree with everything you said; But it still made me chuckle!

      Susana

  17. I think that's interesting as I am 28 and only interested in older men (sorta between 44 – 51ish) – not for their money – but because I am just super attracted to them – however I find that they are mostly NOT interested in me. Where are these guys who like the young ladies???? Out of all my experience with older men ( I have some – not an enormous amount though) only one of them has been genuinely interested….but he really only wanted me for his plaything…
    The rest kinda pretended to get what they wanted…
    So this topic is weird for me ….

    • shadeofgray50 says:

      Okay, now it's my turn. I've been reading all the comments in this forum with great interest. I agree with some and think others are just prejudicial hypocrisy. I am 62. I was married for 34 years in a faithful, but sometimes troubled relationship to a woman 7 years younger than me. My wife died of cancer 16 months ago. I am fit, healthy, and I'm told I still look in my 40s to early 50s. My wife was my first real love, and before meeting her I had only one other relationship which lasted just 6 months. Now I feel as though my adult life has started over again, but with more maturity and wisdom (I think) than 35 years ago. I am interested in starting a new relationship, but I am only attracted to women who are much younger. Ideally I would prefer a woman between 35 and 45, but if she was a sensible, mature young woman over 25 and we got along well together and developed a loving relationship I wouldn't be past giving it serious consideration. My main issue, and to comment on the post by "I wish", I think is the issue with most men who like young ladies, they are too afraid of being ostracized by their families and society in general. I have three adult children, the eldest of whom is 33. I can imagine their reactions if i announced I was planning to have a committed, long-term relationship, such as marriage, with a woman younger than they are! It's easy to say that age is just a number and do what feels right for you, and as a Christian I can't find any biblical command that draws a line in the sand and says, "This much younger, and no further!" There are commands against a lot of other sexual and relationship activities, but not that one. And please, will no one get on here and try and tell me I'm suggesting that pedophilia must therefore be okay! I'm talking about consenting ADULTS here. Society is incredibly hypocritical when it allows same-sex marriage (as New Zealand has just done!) and the media preaches tolerance toward homosexuality, and cougar relationships (older women with younger men) seem to be getting more widely accepted and tolerated, yet there is still condemnation and ridicule toward older men who are in satisfying, loving, committed relationships with younger women more than 10 years their junior. Not to mention the unfounded accusations and prejudice girls in such relationships have to put up with!

      So, I wish, I'm still probably older than you'd prefer, but if you can brave society's stigmatism, and persuade a man you are interested in to ignore it too, go for it! And just for the record, I don't want a plaything, I don't just want sex, I'm not wealthy, and I don't just want a short term fling or affair. I am offering myself for the long haul.

  18. I read this article and have read many others on the subject. I have looked for books or articles that relate to my particular case, but I see mine is not the more common of situations. I am 61 and my girlfriend is 29. Yes… do the math: that's a 32 years gap! I see that most of the older man/young girl articles or books range around an age difference of 15 years!! C'mon! Give me a break! A 15 year age gap is plain normal!! Ok, not if you are a 25 year old guy, I give you that. But say 32, or 33 on… plain normal! A 33 year old guy with an 18 year old girl… is that too unusual? Not your average usual situation, but nothing to write a book about, either. My girl and I, we get along fantastically! We have been together for two years and counting! We have lots of fun, go to the movies, go to the beach, have great sex, and we actually forget about our age gap all the time. We always have lots of things to talk and laugh about ans make plans together all the time. Differences? Yes, sometimes… like everybody else. Her mother is'nt happy about it, that is a fact. But that makes her have two problems: not liking it and having to deal with it, because we are not planning on splitting up! She is a beautiful girl and she could have any guy she wants… but she wants me! We are crazy for each other! If you don't believe me or think I am a dreamer, you have two problems. This can't be generalized… it happens all the time. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does'nt. But many of the issues arrogated to a big age gap, can also happen to couples bearing a "normal" age gap, like 2, 3 , 6 or 7 years. And with this I refer to cheating, taking advantage of ¿whatever?, money interest, loosing interest in, and even dying. I am a widower, I was married for 28 years and my beloved wife died 9 years ago at age 46. Nobody's fault, but she died on me. We had an age gap of 6 years. I was blessed to meet this girl two years ago and I thank God for that every day, because she changed my life. So, I think a large age difference can spell trouble, as Mr. Housewright says, but that is not a rule. You can also have big trouble even if you don't have a big age difference with your couple. An older man can have a happy, healthy relationship with a young girl. All you need is to like each other, to understand each other… to love each other, and to have fun together! It can happen. Ask Clint Eastwood, he is 35 years older that his wife Dina, and they are a steady, happy couple!

    • shadeofgray50 says:

      Thank you Ray! You have reassured me! I am not a weirdo after all at 62, being interested in women in their late 20s and early to mid-30s! You touched on a very real argument, when people suggest there is a high chance of failure. They forget the incredibly high divorce rate in western countries, which is based mostly on people with a "normal" age difference (whatever that is!). People will get divorced at any age, but I think personally that the chances of it being initiated by an older guy with a younger woman are pretty slim. When you're on a good thing, stick to it! Who wants to go through the dating and courtship thing when you're over 60, more than you have to?

      I've been looking at Asian dating sites. I have been approached by literally dozens of smoking hot girls (verified by the very strict site criteria), aged as young as 18, all the way up to their late 40s. I am in communication with 3 main ones now, aged 26, 35 and 42. All lovely women. The one who speaks with the best English and seems to have the most in common with me is the 26 year old. And her parents would be absolutely fine for her to marry a man as old as me, as long as their daughter was happy and they were in love. Well, we'll see what happens.

  19. Buggabreathes says:

    Dude, Ed, you're pathetic. I saw your picture and you're NASTY. I can't believe a younger woman would have sex with you without some insane compensation. Grey pubic hairs. I'm going to vomit!

    • Dont speak to soon .
      The body stayz young for a very short time

    • shadeofgray50 says:

      Well you know what? There is more to being attracted to someone than looks alone (and just for the record, my pubic hairs are still black! And I am not bald!). And I just want to tell you that, even if you were the most stunningly beautiful (outwardly) girl on earth, I would not want to hook up in any kind of relationship with someone like you, with such a narrow-minded attitude. Nasty is more than skin deep, and yours seems more beneath the skin.

  20. This is so very interesting. I am dating a guy 21
    years older than me. we seem to really be stuck on each other, we probably have more differences than commonalities. but somehow he still wants to be with someone as young as me. we love each other very much and I can’t imagine life without him. trust me, I tried and I still came back. I thought it was a phase at first but recently realized that I am just interested in older men and only older men seem to be attracted to me. I am turning 20 soon and I can’t wait to get older even if he wasn’t in my life, I always couldn’t wait to grow up. but I am in that phase where I am deciding what to do with my life. he is 40 and so active for his age in sports, it makes him seem younger. but all his worldly experience and intellect, I am so attracted to…besides other things.
    I think I was also raised in an environment where it was ok to have big age gaps. my parents are 13 years apart. and I observed one of my great uncles remarry someone that looked 27ish and he was already 70. my parents approved of it but when I pursued my first relationship not planning on the age, they had a different opinion. my dad still doesn’t trust the guy and my parents haven’t met him yet. neither have I met his..but were getting there.

    anyway, age was a discussion a lot between us in the first 4 months of being out in public and doing things together and trying not to be concious. but right now I think we’re still getting to know each other and I am so inlove with him. he’s never been married. but he is such a caring person and I learn a lot from him. I’ve really grow on him since we started our relationship. just recently I’ve started telling my friends about it and they are shocked to hear it from someone like me.. I have a good girl reputation. but I just can’t help that I like older men. and I am very sexual.. that seems to be why we’re still together..but we also do a lot more other things for fun. we are just really in love and in lust with each other and we are trying to work it out as a normal couple. don’t get me wrong, I don’t have to have just sex right, I mean I’m really mesmerized by him and him with me. no one else can tell us otherwise what to do….we just have to see for ourselves.

  21. lilibeth padua says:

    im 20 years younger to my husband and we been together for 21 years our relationship stills stable and happy as long as both of you understand and love each other or take away the PRIDE if somebody makes mistakes always had an open communication and put GOD in the center of your relationship always say sorry then love love love!

  22. lilibeth padua says:

    don't mind other people when you are in public just be with yourself and the girl you love but be careful in choosing try to investigate her background and observe how she was raise by her parents how she respect her parents elderly is she is GOD FEARING ask her friends is she responsible or just a happy go lucky woman.try to look for a simple woman much better

  23. I Am 22 Years Old I Need 50 Years Old Guy To Fuck

  24. Pete Laffan says:

    What a twat this guy is. There's a general consensus that if someone is voicing an 'opinion' with an air of authority, usually in an 'official' capacity as here; that it automatically confers some sort of veracity. Bollocks! There's always going to be someone trying to tell you how to live your life according to their opinion. As long as you're behaving legally it is nobody's but nobody's business what the hell you do. Get a life Moron!

  25. chhin sokunthea says:

    My name is Sokunthea, male,30years old. Since i've been born until now i've never know how a good love or care from parents or any relatives at all. what i got are only bad word and look down on me. So i am so sad and lonely that is why i feel love to find godparents or god mother which can make me better feeling and happy. I don want to hear someone say to me i m a lonely man or no parents and relatives. I am so please to hear who are interested to be my parents or mother.
    Warmest regards,
    Sokunthea

  26. I am always thinking about sex. and I need a old man to fuckme

  27. As a mom my daughter who' just turned 19 month ago met a 46 year old man online that she just took of with
    She calls him daddy and master she has never dated before.
    And I found a letter she wants ti kill her self help what do I do:(

    • Hire a private detective. Get her back am send her to therapy. It doesn’t mean the guy is a bad guy or even wrong for her, but sounds like she has issues regardless. Be there for her. She will grow up eventually. This is hopefully just a phase. Possibly to seek attention.

      • I am in a very similar situation. My daughter, still in high school, planning to move in with a 38 old man. After a big argument I kicked the (I called) "PREDATOR" out, they still keep in touch and meet secretly. She did not have a father figure in her life , because we divorced when she was 3 yo. I am worried about her.I do not have money for detective or therapy. What should I do? Wait? Kill him? I really need those advices, thanks.

  28. hello all .. im nicola and i just find this site .. and i need a litlle help here . . if any1 can help me my id;; paty_lolitalo@yahoo.com i w8 guys to talk and mby more thx

  29. Age in years is just a number. If two people love each other it is between THEM… No one else's business!

  30. jae williams says:

    Its funny how people say age is such a big deal. The truth is that relationships are tough. If you find someone you enjoy spending time with, the age doesn't matter. I think everyone should be open to find love in all ages, races, etc (legal of course). There could be a 1 day age difference and the relationship could not work. There could be a 25 year difference and everything clicks…There is no magic formula for love. I would never not see someone just because of how long ago they were born…Just doesn't make any sense

  31. I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO, I HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS NOW, MY EX WIFE IS 9 YEARS YOUNGER THEN ME, I WAS NOT LOOKING TO DATE ANYONE, HOWEVER I STARTED HANGING IN THIS SPORTS BAR A HALF BLOCK FROM MY APARTMENT, AND THERE IS THIS ONE GIRL THAT WORKS THERE, SHE IS ASIAN BUT TO BE HONEST SHE IS THE MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN I AVE EVER SAW IN MY LIFE, HOWEVER I WILL BE 50 IN A FEW DAYS AN DSHE JUST TURNED 29 IN AUGUST BUT I HAVE BECOME SMITTEN WITH THIS GIRL, I NO LONGER DRINK SO I GO THERE TO WATCH SPORTS OR TALK WITH THE GUYS I KNOW UP THERE, SHE KNOWS I LIKE HER BECAUSE I SENT HER A DOZEN ROSES EVERY WEEK FOR A MONTH, SOME OF THE GUYS I KNOW SAY ITS KIND OF CREEPY TO BE INTERESTED IN A GIRL 20 YEARS YOUNGER THEN ME, LIK E I SAID SHE IS GORGOUS, BUT SHE IS ALSO SWEET AND A HARD WORKER, MY QUESTION IS SHOULD I PURSUE THIS ANY FARHER OR MOVE ONTO A WOMAN AROUND MY AGE?

    • shadeofgray50 says:

      Apart from the roses, have you talked with this girl at all? Have you flirted with her? How does she respond when you talk to her? Does she stop and give you her full attention (when she is not so busy), make eye contact, smile at you when she sees you, make conversation with you? Or does she always seem to be in a hurry when you are there, avoid looking at you, and just give perfunctory replies when you speak to her? Based on how you answer those questions, go with your heart. If you can answer positively to the first set of questions, ask her to go for coffee after work, or ask her for a date, somewhere public the first time. Not too much pressure. "Hey, you know, I've been thinking, we should go out somewhere for coffee and a chat. Are you free after work?" Something like that. If she looks embarrassed and says no or makes a weak excuse, don't push it. Leave it for a while and maybe try later, or take the hint and forget about her. Otherwise, well, good luck!

  32. I married a beautiful 19 yr old girl when I was 32. We were married for 18 yrs with two kids. We had a great life and enjoyed most of our time together. However, into my mid 40's our age difference got the best of us. I was becoming less agreeable to socializing with her and her friends and was more interested in hanging out with my kids. She began showing signs of resentment for marrying so young. From there everything began to spiral downward. Our friends and family thought we were the perfect family and all were shocked when she decided to break the family up. I am now the 53 yr old single condo dwelling dude. My kids are out of the house in college. Dating someone younger is tempting of course… but i have reached a point where I think being single is pretty enjoyable. I don't answer to anyone, i do what I want to do, and honestly have become lazy in regards to the relationship building. I met a gorgeous woman 3 yrs younger than me and she wants me to be the love of her life, the white knight, holding her hand walking down the street, making out etc… I am totally resisting and feeling I cannot do this…what's wrong with me? ha ha ha perplexing!

  33. I’m 29 and I date only men in the age range of 46 – to early 60′s. I have more in common with them and am very attracted to men in this age range. I’ve never had any issues with how people in the public look at us and I guess that comes from being comfortable with who I am. I haven’t been lucky enough to find the right man for me to marry but have dated some great men. My view is as long as everyone is age 18 and over then things are fine. Best wishes to everyone in finding love.

  34. Katie Limas says:

    I am 31 and my (very recently) exboyfriend of 18 months is 65. Our relationship was wonderful. He was everything I’ll ever look to find in a man again. Why did things go wrong? The problem wasn’t mine nor was the choice. We had recently traveled to Italy together. We spent a wonderful 10 days side by side and in love. He happened to catch a cold or come sinus thing and it took a toll on his energy level. He wanted to rest and I understood that. He was legitimately sick, not too old. We got back to the States on a Sunday and he broke up with me via email on Monday. He says that I deserve someone who can keep up with me. He also said that 31 and 65 can’t “catch each other” because their places on the arc are too far apart– meaning I’m starting my law career and he’s retiring from his. He actually was my professor and I his student but my life experiences were such that he wasn’t stifling me from finding myself.

    My problem is that his reasons for leaving are so superficial. Can 31 and 65 never catch each other? I thought we were pretty “caught” the last 18 months.

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    in favor of his website, for the reason that here every stuff is quality based data.

  36. Interdependent says:

    10 years. When I was 55 I gave this a lot of thought as I was very popular on the dating sites. Relationships are hard enough without having to explain who Art Linkletter, Jimmy Durante etc is. You get the idea. 10 years would apply at any age.

  37. I was with my wife for 12 years, we have a 3 year old son, there is a 24 year age gap, she is 40, and she looks fantastic, 105 pounds, etc.. I am 64, great shape, on the treadmill nightly, 6'. 180 pounds, well I just caught her accidentally and found she was having an affair with a 32 year old… actively chatting up other men online, says she loves me but wants more excitement in her life…I cant compete with a 32 year old on any level but financially..despite our kid and financial security she still wants out.. I think all people are different but I would caution men against marrying someone 15 years or more younger…

  38. It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve
    read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or tips.
    Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article.
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  39. I've always been attracted to much younger women. I'm 55 years old,and act much younger than my age. I've found that younger women are so much more enjoyable to be around! They don't have the ''MAN HATER'' attitude that older women have. I've always dated younger ladies…and continue do so! Gotta love'em! lol

    • paul, medically, you cannot accept the fact that you are getting old and should i termed it as adrenopose as for men, menopausal stage for women. Sort of you are in denial stage so you tend to be with younger women because they make you feel young.

  40. It all depends on the people and the circumstances. I am very attracted to a 36 year old woman I work with. She feels attracted to me. To be blunt, we love each other. Will we ever act on it? Doubtful. We'll keep it hidden, never speak of it again(we did, once) and go on with our lives.

  41. Oh, I forget to mention it, but I'm 65. She thought I looked 52 or so, but I am 65, turning 66 this month.

  42. My Girlfriend is 25, and I am 55. We are JWs and are getting along well. We will probably get married and have children._I own my own house and business, but she is not a gold digger…we just happens to work well for each other because neither of us has children and our interests and support for each other meshes well.

  43. I am 38 from a European country. I’m married and have a child but I”ve been probably hit by a midlife crisis as recently I began hanging out with people half my age. Is this immoral or creepy? I don’t give a damn. It’s fine for them (I am a very funny guy to have around) and it’s fine for me. An 18 y.o. girl has a soft spot for me and I will probably invite her out for dinner. I don’t care what people think of me. I want to enjoy life as much as I can as long as it is legal and I don’t hurt anyone.

  44. I don't feel good about it, but it feels good to me. It actually shows how insecure I am about myself, & I'm ashamed. Should I be? He's over sixty and I'm in my twenties. It feels gross!

  45. I have to laugh. Men truly are delusional.
    Men say that they want to date much younger date younger because " they can". But guess what – most younger women don't want to date them BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TO. They have plenty of younger better hotter males to choose from!
    Have these guys, author included, really looked in the mirror? I think not!
    As usual, women generally underestimate themselves at every stage of life, . and men, well they tend to have rose colored lens that see past their own balding hair, chubby bods, and man boobs.
    As a woman who is "smokin "hot , why would I want to date some out of shape older guy looking for eye candy or a nurse.
    These men should look to the many women in their approximate age group, who are, in most cases, in better shape than these guys.
    Dating is a marketplace and you get approximately what you bring to he table. GET REAL, GUYS!

  46. Hi – I need some advice. A friend of mine who is 47 has just started dating a woman who is 32. He seems to be having a sort of mid-life crisis and told me he doesn't want to tell her his age. The thing is what I am most worried about is that he will not tell her that he is infertile (and is a herpes carrier). I feel that he should be honest from the beginning as she might want to have kids – he refuses to listen to me and just gets angry. What should I do – any suggestions please.

  47. Really, a personal relationship between two people is really no different than any other ORGANIZATION – its members must share the same values, goals, and purpose, though they may not be articulated as well as for a business enterprise. Families, companies, and fellowships do consist of people of a wide age-range, and there is no reason why one organization consisting of just two people cannot work just as well. Would any of us consider starting up a business consisting only of people close in age to ourselves? As an older person, dating and possibly marrying a younger one would have to do achieving goals that I would never get from marrying someone closer to my age – starting a new family (had enough of step-kids) and being around for their growing up, supporting my SO's professional career (i.e., working as a mentor), freeing her up from the household. Yes, as a man, this means providing a supporting role that my late mother followed – but why not? I don't want to pick up from where I left off when my late wife passed away with a "replacement" partner. Women my age and older are more interested in my pension benefits and supporting their worthless kids than in what I find to be meaningful for a lasting relationship. I don't want to repeat the health problems my late wife had with another person in my age cohort ("gee, that '87 Toyota just died, why not buy this '88 Toyota to replace it? Don't waste your money on that '09 Toyota"). Not sharing the same dreams and working together to achieve them and not using our gifts in complementary ways explain why relationships fail. I'm 59 and I am considering a woman between 25 and 30, but I'm not proposing to the first one that comes along. I will have to scrutinize her as I would consider forming a business partnership, and I will have to compete as I would for a great job opportunity ("what strengths can she bring to the relationship? what can I do for her that meets her goals? Where can we take this relationship and how far?). Arguing for limits on age differences in is no different than advocating that people of different races, nationalities, ethnicities, and religion should not marry. Really, people have to understand their differences and learn to leverage their diversity to build something worthwhile, at least for themselves individually and as a couple.

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