Imagine this scenario:
You meet an attractive woman. You hit it off. She meets all your criteria for a woman you’d like to date.
But she’s 15 years younger than you. Too big an age difference? What about 20 years – or even 25 years?
Every man I’ve ever known has wanted to date younger women. Why? Men are visual creatures, and younger women tend to more attractive. (If I offended any older women, tough.)
Still, there’s a limit to how low a man can go. If the age difference is too great, the man looks like a creepy old guy – if not a pervert. I’m disgusted by those all-too-frequent stories of male teachers who take advantage of much younger female students.
I have a general rule of thumb about older guysyounger women. The older he is, the greater the age difference can be.
For instance, a 45-year-old guy could get away with dating a 25-year-old woman. Granted, some people (maybe the woman’s parents) might raise an objection. But most people wouldn’t declare the 45-year-old way out of line.
However, what about a 45-year-old guy dating a 20-year-old woman? The age difference is too great, I say. Why? The 20-year-old, likely, is still in school and planning her.
It’s wrong for a well-established man to nab a young woman before she can discover herself and find her way in life. The man’s desire for eye candy shouldn’t trump the woman’s right to develop into an adult.
I’m 53 years old, and I’ve dated younger women. Generally, the age difference seems to be less than 10 years. Once, I dated a woman who was 15 years younger, but that’s as low as I’ve gone.
I can say this: An older woman isn’t necessarily more mature than a younger woman. So it’s a mistake to immediately condemn a man for seeing a woman 20 years his junior. She could be more sophisticated and a better match for the guy than someone his age.
A large age difference can spell trouble
I have another observation about older men dating younger women. If the age difference becomes an ongoing topic of discussion with the couple, the gap is too large. Early in the relationship, it’s fine to joke about their different life experiences based on age.
But if either partner starts using age as a jab – the man implying the woman is a child or the woman implying he’s an old fart – the relationship is doomed. A successful relationship is based on respect and a perception of equality.
Some men leave their wives for younger women. That’s wrong. Marriage is a serious commitment. You shouldn’t call it off just because your wife is getting older (you are too).
Adultery, abuse or neglect of the kids, financial irresponsibility – those are valid reasons for a guy tohis wife. But not because she develops wrinkles or adds a few pounds.
Guys, don’t look to go younger if you’re married. But if you’re divorced, it’s OK to go as low as you want – within reason.
For instance, I pity a 70-year-old guy who manages to marry a 25-year-old. It’s rare, but it happens. In most cases, of course, the guy is rich and the woman is a gold digger.
If I were a rich 70-year-old, I wouldn’t jeopardize my fortune for greatwith a young woman or admiring glances from other men. First, the sex probably wouldn’t last. Second, envy wouldn’t make up for the conflicts that could arise because of the age difference.
As a single guy, I’m always looking for a potential mate. Youth is important to me, but it ranks well below other characteristics, such as emotional health and intelligence.
I could never choose a smoking hot 25-year-old bimbo for a long-term relationship. But I could easily choose a smoking hot 25-year-old who was smart, kind and self-confident.
Men will always be attracted to younger women. It’s in our genes. But we shouldn’t let youth and beauty blind us to a woman’s faults. An attractive woman could turn out to be a high-maintenance nightmare.