Guys, you may learn something here.
I saw this article in which women talk candidly about why they cheated on their husbands. These comments may hurt for guys who had an unfaithful wife.
For other guys, though, these remarks may be a wakeup call. If you’re currently married, or hope to be someday, you might want to change behaviors and priorities based on why these women had sex outside of marriage.
“Regardless of the reason, there’s one thing that’s certain: Infidelity is devastating,” says the article in Woman’s Day.
It quotes a study by the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, that analyzed why husbands and wives cheat. Most men commit adultery because they’re chasing sex, the report says. By contrast, most women were unfaithful because they were dissatisfied with the marriage.
Report findings can make for dull reading. But the comments from actual women in the Woman’s Day article are compelling, sad and troubling.
“From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake,” says 50-year-old Elizabeth. “He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him.”
After a year of marriage, she began having an affair with a man at work. “I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be,” she says.
Barbara, 49, says her husband was a workaholic and didn’t make their marriage a priority. “He was totally consumed and exhausted by his work. There was nothing left for me.”
She began having an affair with a friend and soon left her husband. She doesn’t regret her choice, although her second husband has since died. “He came into my life and woke me up, showing me that life is precious and that at any given moment, it can all be taken away,” Barbara says. “So if I have a dream or a goal, I’d better get moving on it.”
Larie, 33, found out her husband was cheating on her only a year into their marriage. Devastated, she had an affair of her own. “I cheated on him mostly for revenge,” she says. “But, in retrospect, it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men.”
Other women speak out in the article too. The circumstances surrounding the affairs differ. But the infidelity occurred because of specific problems in the marriage.
Remember that. Affairs rarely just happen. They’re a symptom of a troubled marriage. Marriage needs constant attention to remain strong – and to be as affair-proof as possible.
An unsatisfying marriage is bad enough. Throw in an affair, and the relationship really goes to hell. Do all you can to head off problems that lead to cheating.