I met a woman recently who said she’d been taking a “dating sabbatical.”
Hmmm. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that term, but it’s a great concept.
Sometimes you just need to take a break and reboot your dating life. Shut it down. Come back to it later. Don’t think about dating for a while.
If you date too much, you can lose perspective. What do I want in a relationship? What kind of woman am I seeking? Why am I spending so much time, energy and money on dating?
After all, it’s possible to be completely unattached – and be happy. You don’t need a date every weekend, every other weekend or even every month.
Hell, people can fast from food for weeks at a time. You can certainly fast from dating.
I think a break from dating lets you see some mistakes you’re making: Why do I always date that kind of woman? After all, it never works out.
A dating sabbatical can be voluntary or involuntary. It doesn’t really matter. You may feel better about yourself if you decide to stop looking. But even if you can’t get a date, embrace the break.
Take the time to hang out with friends or family, explore new interests, pick up old hobbies again, read some books.
If you stop obsessing about dating – and meeting The One – you may have better relationship success once you resume dating. You’ll be recharged and free of the desperation that can come from dating failure.
You won’t miss anything
OK, what are the downsides to a dating sabbatical? Theoretically, you could miss the perfect woman if you aren’t looking. The bus could pass you by, the fish could get away, whatever analogy you like.
But I doubt it. Think about your friends who are married. How many of them met while frantically going out on date after date? Probably few, if any. Instead, they met by happenstance. They connected at work, through a friend, while pursuing a hobby – any number of ways.
My point is this: You don’t necessarily increase your chances of finding love by poring through dating profiles online and contacting a bunch of the women. (Note to self.)
Some dating experts agree.
“I promise you, the world will not end and all the available singles won’t get snatched up by the time you decide to get back in the game,” writes online dating coach Jeffrey Platts. “And as much as Hollywood would love to have you believe, you WILL NOT DIE without sex.”
So chill. Take a break.
After a reboot, your dating life may operate much more smoothly.
Think about a dating sabbatical. If you’re striking out with women and frustrated, a break could be just what you need. It could boost your dating karma when you start looking again.