Some men stay bitter for a long time after divorce.
I was reminded of this after I wrote a recent article, Why Can’t Divorced Men Commit? I’ll Tell You.
It was an adaptation of an article I previously wrote for Single Dad House.
Basically, I said that divorced men are cautious about marrying again because we don’t want to make another mistake.
I didn’t say we’re hesitant to marry because we’re still bitter. But that’s the sentiment many divorced guys expressed about the possibility of remarriage. Consider some of their comments:
- Divorced men know what’s like to get taken to the cleaners.
- Being hit with a blunt instrument to the head — well…it only takes once for a person to realize they don’t want to get laid out again.
- Instead of getting married, just start out giving half of your weekly check to your girlfriend for one year. If you’re happy then get married. If not, you will see what it is like getting a divorce. She will get half of everything. Men are screwed.
- Divorced men won’t commit because they learned the hard way that the system is set up with the deck stacked against them, and don’t want to lose everything they work for in a split to some woman who wants free enrichment.
Watch out for these guys
Some of the reader comments reflected more than bitterness. They made me wonder about the mental stability of guys:
- I opted for an Australian Cattle dog for a companion. She likes me even when I make mistakes. Example: Lock your wife and dog in the trunk of a car for an hour then open the trunk. Which one will be most likely be happy to see you?
- You can’t live with ‘em, can’t stuff ‘em in a bag.
- After my divorce I committed to my finances, my dog, my kids and I only rent the opposite sex.
Wow, these guys really should not be married.
Some of the reader comments were philosophical:
- Getting married more than once is the exuberant triumph of optimism over experience.
- The majority of relationships, women tell the man what to do from the moment she gets up until she goes to bed.
Some men, however, said we shouldn’t rule out remarrying. They reminded us that good marriages do exist.
- Making forever work isn’t always easy but it can be very rewarding.…if you’re with the right person.
- If you have had 3 car wrecks, it doesn’t mean you stop driving … The biggest mistake you can make in trying to build a new relationship after a big crash is punishing your new partner for the mistakes of the old one.
It’s unhealthy and pointless to stay angry at your ex-wife (wives) and be bitter about your divorce forever. If you do, you’ll be miserable.
It’s certainly understandable if you don’t want to marry again. But don’t tell yourself that all women are evil and all marriages are doomed. They’re not.
The bitterness of other divorced men should be a wakeup call. You don’t have to let divorce ruin your attitude. Learning from your divorce is one thing, but letting it consume you is another.