Well, it’s up to you, but I say no.
I’ve changed my position on this. I used to think if a woman had kids at home, that was cute and sweet. You could show what a great guy you were by being nice to the kids and interested in their activities. Blah, blah, blah …
Now, I say dating a woman with kids is way too much trouble. Too often, I’ve found myself feigning interest in her kids’ activities.
Oh, Billy had another soccer game yesterday? How did it go?
Sally has cheerleader tryouts next week? I hope she does well!
I’ve got my plate full keeping up with my own kid’s activities. I’m not interested in getting married again in the foreseeable future, so why do I want to be burdened with another woman’s kids during dating?
I’ve found that most women with kids expect you to be interested in their little ones. They really need a counselor, not a boyfriend. They want to tell someone about their kids’ problems and their frustrations. They want to tell someone that their ex-husband is a lousy father.
And if you’re in the picture, you get to be that person. Congratulations!
Kids occupy a woman’s emotions and her calendar. Dates have to be planned around kids’ activities and the visitation schedule with the ex. For me, too many moving parts to have a satisfying relationship.
At my age, most women I’d date no longer have kids at home. Thank goodness. So if you’re 45 or so, the supply of empty nesters is more than adequate. No need to complicate your life with someone else’s kids.
Of course, there are no absolutes in life or in dating. You may meet a woman who is irresistible – and who has a young kid. Intellectually, you may know the relationship poses problems. But you want to proceed anyway.
I speak from experience.
When I met my first wife, she had a 5-year-old daughter. I’d never dated a woman with a kid. But, in this case, it seemed natural. The daughter never felt like a burden in the relationship – only an asset.
We married after dating a few years. I adopted her daughter, and I’ve always considered her as much my child as my biological son. She’s 27 now, and we have a great adult-to-adult relationship.
So I guess I’m a hypocrite. I’d advise a guy against dating a woman with a kid. But no one knows your particular situation except you.
Consult your mind, but follow your heart.
THE TAKEAWAY: Dating a woman with a kid is difficult and complicated. But don’t rule it out.