Who hasn’t heard of the Millionaire Matchmaker TV show?
A real-life matchmaker, Patti Stanger, tries to find rich and beautiful people the perfect partner. It’s reality TV gold.
The show can be hilarious, sad, poignant, uplifting and depressing – all in the same episode. No wonder it’s so popular.
Patti has become a major star. Besides hosting Millionaire Matchmaker for the past five years, she has written a book called Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate.
Last week, I watched my first episode of the Millionaire Matchmaker after hearing all the buzz. Now, I wanted to see how Patti’s 2009 book compared to her show.
Does she have the same sassy attitude and give the same bossy advice in the book?
“If you think I’m too abrupt for you, I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am,” Patti writes. “Singles’ Boot Camp is now in session, and I’m your drill sergeant.”
She starts the book off with a bang in the first sentences:
“Every time a heterosexual female sleeps with a man – a good one, a bad one, it doesn’t matter – she becomes bonded to that man, and no other man can exist for her. This is because the hormone oxytocin starts surging through her veins. So proceed with caution – one good orgasm, and your bonds to any Joe Schmo are chemically reinforced. The more sex you have, the stronger the bond.”
This straightforward passage sets the tone for the 278-page paperback book. The eight chapters include “Dating Detox,” “First Days of Infatuation,” and “Relationship Reality Check.” The book is directed to women, but its lessons apply to men too.
I think Patti is the real deal. Her advice hits the mark – even if you may not want to hear it. Unlike some reality TV stars, Patti isn’t an actress playing a role.
She’s a third-generation matchmaker who has been in the business herself for 20 years. I wouldn’t want to argue with her, frankly.
In the first chapter, Patti advises people to take a break from dating – a “dating detox” – to cast aside bad memories and recharge emotionally.
Good advice, I say.
“Now is the time to tackle your demons head-on and get over them,” Patti writes. “Release your past and say, ‘Today’s the day I start with me!’”
I like her chapter on infatuation. Sure, it feels good to be madly attracted to someone new, she says. But watch out.
“You desperately need some space to objectively evaluate his pros and cons and to recognize the danger signs,” Patti writes.
Once you decide to proceed in the relationship, there comes a time for a reality check, she says. The infatuation period is over, and your partner’s flaws become evident.
“This is when you get to ask yourself, ‘Can I live with all his crap?’” Patti writes.
She may be a drill sergeant, but she’s not cynical about finding true love. She just wants you people to be smart and cautious.
“Just because you might not be able to see your perfect match standing right there in front of you doesn’t mean he’s not out there, being guided in your direction this very minute,” Patti says in the conclusion. “As a matter of fact, I am absolutely certain that he is on his way.”
She’d probably say the same thing about a woman for us guys.
Read this book. It may not be as entertaining as the Millionaire Matchmaker show, but Patti’s advice is just as sound.
Don’t be put off by Patti Sanger’s abrasiveness on TV. She has great insight into relationships. Enjoy her show, but read her book to absorb her wisdom.
Photo courtesy of Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker website.