Online dating is great. It’s the fastest, most efficient, cost-effective way to meet lots of women.
The only drawback: You’ll get rejected. A lot. You may message a dozen or more women – possibly way more — before one replies.
Now, the rejection is relatively painless. After all, you never even lock eyes with the women who reject you.
I’ve grown so accustomed to my messages being ignored that it doesn’t bother me – at least I thought so. Lately, however, I’ve been in an extreme slump. I’ll bet that only one of the last 20 women I’ve messaged has replied.
That’s pathetic. Have I suddenly gotten older, uglier, balder or geekier? I don’t think so.
Even though online rejection is anonymous, the sheer volume of women who aren’t interested is battering my ego.
Let me give you an example. In the past month, here’s a sampling of the women who haven’t responded to my request for communication:
- A 45-year-old teacher who says she “loves anything outdoors: riding bikes, kayaking, snow skiing, and much more.”
- A 48-year-old school administrator who is “looking for excitement, fun, and love.”
- A 44-year-old salesperson who “enjoys fine dining, cozy dinners for two at home, almost any kind of food.”
- A 45-year-old financial manager who “loves warm tropical areas, relaxing on the beach, boating, spending time with friends and family, and traveling.”
- A 45-year-old corporate recruiter who lists more than 25 interests, including weightlifting, fishing, photography, horseback riding, painting, bowling, and wine tasting.
- A 46-year-old nurse who describes herself as “the girl next door” and wants a “stable person with a great personality.”
None of these women – nor many more – found my online profile interesting enough to merit a reply. Damn.
What do I do now?
Should I give up? Keep messaging women and hope my luck improves?
I’m not sure what I’ll do. All this silent treatment from women is eroding my confidence.
I’ve analyzed my approach online. I’m reaching out to women who are in my dating league. I’m 53, so I don’t try to woo 21-year-old models. Or 31-year-old models. I generally don’t message anyone who is more than 10 years younger than me. If I did, I’d be asking for rejection.
I think I’d be a good match for any of the women I listed above who spurned me. Obviously, they disagreed.
Fortunately, I’m no hurry to find “the one.” I’m not looking for a wife. I’m not even looking for a committed relationship.
I’d simply like an attractive woman (or two or three) to spend some time with, exchange emails and talk on the phone occasionally. Is that too much to ask?
I think I’ll slow down my online dating efforts, at least through New Year’s. I’ve got bad karma now, and maybe women can pick up on it.
But I don’t think I could ever give up online dating altogether. I’ve been out with more than 20 women I met online, and most of the dates were enjoyable in some way. A few relationships ensued.
I’m not willing to turn off my computer and try to meet women the old-fashioned way. Trolling grocery store aisles? Too much work, too little payoff. Asking friends if they know any eligible women? Awkward.
I’m like a compulsive gambler. I can step away from the slot machine or poker table for a while, but I always go back, chips in hand, ready for more action.
After all, it takes just one pull of the handle, one perfect hand – or one click of the mouse – to hit the jackpot.
Success in online dating can take time. Don’t get in a hurry. Get used to rejection. But stay in the game. Meeting women online is still the best approach.