Now this is a tough question.
You want a woman who is sexually experienced – to a point. I’d say having 50 sexual partners is too much experience. At least for me.
On the other extreme, a woman with only or two sexual partners could be trouble too. Maybe she’s got sexual hang-ups. Maybe she’s recently divorced, and the only man she ever hadwith was her ex-husband.
Do you want to walk into that situation and be No. 2? I don’t.
There’s a new romantic comedy called What’s Your Number? starring Anna Faris, who is very hot and very funny. She plays a single woman who is told by her girlfriends that’ll she never find a husband because she’s had more than 20 sex partners.
“I am not going to sleep with one more guy until I’m sure he’s the one,” Faris says in the movie.
What’s Your Number? is a comedy, but it raises a serious question.
Granted, there’s a longstanding sexual double standard for men and women. For a man, having dozens and dozens of sex partners means he’s cool (at least to some people). But for a woman, having the same number means she’s a whore (again, at least to some).
Is this double standard fair? Of course not. But I’m not trying to address that – I’m simply asking: What’s the maximum number of sex partners you could accept for a woman you’re serious about?
For me, I’d say less than 10. Actually, closer to five.
Why? I’m not sure. Those numbers are totally arbitrary, I’ll admit, but they reflect my comfort zone with a woman’s sexual history.
OK, let’s say you’re looking for a woman who’s had sex with between five and 10 men. How do you verify that?
You certainly can’t ask the question point-blank – at least early in the relationship. Maybe the woman will volunteer the answer at some point. But how do you know she’s telling the truth? You don’t.
More fundamentally, is it any of your business how many guys a girl has slept with?
“It doesn’t say anything about who a woman is as a person any more than looking at her bank account balance does,” writes Janelle Harris in an article on TheStir.com. “Some guys don’t even want to know at all. Why muss up a potentially good thing with the knowledge that your girl has sexed up the equivalent of a small college town population?”
We should probably throw out the number-of-sexual-partners question.
In What’s Your Number? Anna Faris makes a profound statement: “Sometimes you can’t live life by the numbers. You have to figure it out as you go along.”
I agree. We may wonder how many guys a woman has slept with, but the answer doesn’t do us any good.
Resist the temptation to obsess over the number of sexual partners a woman has had. Do you want her to know your number? Do you want her to reject you if it’s too high or too low? Of course not. See a woman for who she is now. The past is the past.
Picture courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes.