A divorce creates heartache and loss, but it also creates opportunities, namely:
You can upgrade in the wife department.
OK, this may sound crass, but who cares? It’s true. What person, male or female, doesn’t want to do better with their next partner?
I certainly do. I’m unattached now, but I’m always looking for a woman who is prettier, smarter and nicer than my two ex-wives. I’m not dying to get seriously involved, but I’m always looking.
And if you’re looking, why not aim high? An older friend once told me, “Always date up, never down.”
I ran across a book recently that concurs. It’s called Updating! How to Get a Man or Woman Who Once Seemed Out of Your League by Leil Lowndes. Here are some of her first points:
- “Go cold turkey on frogs. Constantly dating people beneath you is a bad habit like smoking, drinking, compulsive eating, or shopping ‘til you drop. It feels good at the moment, but it hurts big-time in the long run.”
- “Dump the destiny bit. Need I say more? Even if you think you are destined to find a Princess or a Prince, get off your tush and search.”
- “Realize that love is a tough business. Finding a permanent partner is one of the most carefully considered and calculated risks you will take in life. Even the loftiest folks look at long-term love like a business deal.”
Once the author lays her groundwork, she offers specific tips to nab someone a few rungs up the dating ladder.
- “Learn the ‘location, location, location’ law of love. One of the best ways to capture Royal prey is to live in their lair. Jog on the same paths, buy your toothpaste at the same pharmacy, shop for clothes in the same stores, walk your dog on the same streets, join the same gym, go to the same place of worship.”
- “Inspect your own feathers. You can’t change your genes or your history, but you can change your habits. And if you’ve been hanging with people unworthy of you, chances are your own habits could use a little luster.”
- “What if I’m not a ‘looker’? The reason many people don’t go for a fabulous looking mate is that they think they can’t! It’s been shown that most people grossly underestimate their own attractiveness. Go for the gorgeous potential mate with confidence. You’ll be surprised!”
OK, a pep talk!
I’m not vouching for this book, but it made me think. It caused me to take stock of my attributes (and faults) and wonder how far “up” I could date.
Time will tell. I’ve sort of got one foot in the dating pool now. If I decide to dive in, I’ll re-read Updating! and see if the author is right.
THE TAKEAWAY: If you’re looking for a mate, aim high. You might be surprised by your success.