It’s not that hard. We don’t bite.
Many women sign up for online dating. But I’ve found a lot are hesitant to really be aggressive in pursuing guys.
I don’t understand that. Why just let your profile get lost among thousands of others? And then you feel sorry for yourself when no one contacts you!
Get out there. The dating world has changed. We’re not in junior high anymore. Girls don’t have to sit on one side of the dance floor and wait for a guy to come take their hand.
I’m not saying women should always be the aggressor. That does seem a little weird. But if you see a guy’s profile that interests you – reach out to him. Now. Don’t second-guess yourself.
Yes, the guy may not respond. So what? I’ve been rejected more times than I can count in online dating. But I keep stepping up to the plate – so should you.
Honestly, I’m not interested in most women who contact me online. (And vice versa.) But I’ve been interested in a few, and I’ve had some good dates as a result.
Times have changed
“Aren’t we in the same time period that welcomes independent single mothers and women in high career positions?” writes Heidi Muller on AskMen.com. “While the female gender has undergone so many evolutions in society, one would think they would be as aggressive in their dating life as they are in every other aspect of their life.
“When it comes to dating, there’s no doubt that making the first move is nerve-wracking, but I’m on the men’s side where this issue is concerned,” Muller continues. “It can just as equally be a woman’s job to secure a date with a man, or kiss him in hopes of luring him into more serious bedroom activity, as it is the man’s responsibility.”
In online dating, it’s especially easy for a woman to make the first move. It’s a simple click of the mouse. If the guy doesn’t respond, move on. The rejection is relatively anonymous and painless.
But I think women should be more aggressive in dating outside the Internet too. If you see a guy who interests you, walk up to him. This outdated idea that men should always initiate conversation needs to die.
Make the first move
Here’s some good advice for women on how to approach a guy:
“Be direct, confident, and unambiguous,” says Bryan Sebeck on EMandLO.com. “First, guys are pretty terrible at reading subtext. Unless you’re pretty blunt with us, we won’t notice that you’re actually asking us out because we’re too busy trying to figure out the best way to ask you out. You don’t need to hit us over the head with the obvious stick to get your point across, but you’ll need to be a little more direct than you think you ought to be. Second: guys love confident women.”
Here’s some more advice from the same article:
“Smile, make eye contact, and be honest. If you’re a bit nervous, it’s OK. Welcome to the club, ladies. This is how men feel every time we even consider talking to a woman.”
Grow up, ladies. The dating world has changed. Give up the quaint idea that Mr. Right is going to walk up to you. It’s OK to look for him. Just be prepared to meet a bunch of Mr. Wrongs.