I’m not talking about a friend to give you a pep talk and some off-the-cuff advice. No, I’m talking about hiring someone to explain why you’re a dating loser.
Until recently, I’d never heard of dating coaches. Turns out, they’re all over.
“Unlike matchmakers, dating coaches do not arrange dates,” says a New York Times article.
“Instead, they act as cheerleaders and advisers, pointing out less-than-helpful behavior.”
The article was written by a woman who says she’s a “dating disaster.” She hired a dating coach (at $125 an hour) to enlighten her.
“It seemed like a lot of money and trouble to gather advice that my grandmother could probably give,” said the writer, Abby Ellin.
Still, she carried on. Her coach made this bold prediction: “If you follow my advice, you’ll meet your mate.”
No. Ellin said she paid for five hours of counseling, instead of the 15 recommended by the coach.
“She was insightful and engaging, and her advice was usually spot-on,” Ellin writes. “The problem was me. I was working, seeing my friends, traveling. In other words: I was busy.”
Who knows? Others might have more luck with a dating coach.
Apparently, many people are willing to give it a shot. The dating advice field has grown so much that it now has its own trade group, the International Dating Coach Association.
“Dating coaching is a structured, personalized process that inspires people to maximize their dating potential,” according to its website. “Our goal is to raise the dating skills of our clients so that they can find their optimal romantic partners.”
The site offers a database of dating coaches. You can also find one by simply doing a Google search. You’ll see page after page of results. Many have a sales pitch.
“Start meeting singles that you want!” says one coach.
Another promises he’ll “transform your love life!”
If anyone has hired a dating coach, I’d love to hear about your experience. Personally, I’m a little skeptical. I’m already spending money on a dating website. Not sure I want to spend any more on some self-styled dating guru.
There’s an expert for everything these days. Love is no exception. But until I hear some success stories, I’m not hiring a dating coach.